I spoke with Sara Blackmur, ACS PAtient Navigator at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, two weeks ago. She told me that one of the most frequently asked questions she hears from parents is regarding hair loss and how to explain it to their children. Certainly that is one of the most identifiable changes for a cancer patient. It is when the world can see the truth. It is a loss of identity, an image of vulnerability and a cruel consequence of treatment.
It’s also not one of the first things that we discussed with our son during my husband’s treatment. I’m sure that we talked about it…I remember him rubbing his Daddy’s head and saying that it felt fuzzy. I remember the comment that he made about using jelly to glue Daddy’s eyebrows back on. I just don’t recall prepping him for it.
What I remember though about his hair loss was my own emotion. I remember sweeping it off the bathroom floor for weeks before we finally decided to bite the bullet and shave it. I remember excusing myself to go to the bathroom and cry after we finally did. I remember trying to be brave for our son and failing miserably. I remember how dark it looked on the white sheet that we had put down and how I felt as I shook the sheet to send it into the wind.
And you hear of people who have their hair grow back in a different color, texture or curly. My husband’s came back darker and definitely different: tufty, weird and with a mind of its own. But it’s here and so is he and that is all that matters.