The basics of conversations with children:
When?
Ideally, from the beginning and often. This is not just one conversation but a series of ongoing bits of information. You know your audience.
My son is a planner. He’s a trooper and great with almost anything new as long as he sees it coming. For kids like this, talk about what will happen, what might be the result and how they will be cared for during.
Other kids can’t anticipate past the Lucky Charms. These kiddos can’t hear about things too far in advance or string together too many upcoming events.
Choose a time when you have time. Don’t have the conversation on the way to the hospital, the treatment facility or the courthouse. Allow time for each of you to process, ask questions and have quiet time together or alone.
Where?
Some people like the car where no eye contact is necessary. Bath time is a comforting time for other families. Maybe in your house, the big talks happen on the porch swing. For us, it seems like a coloring book and crayons create a place of calm.
Bedtime is a great time to exhange information but I prefer it as a time to talk about the best things of the day. I don’t like a heavy topic sitting on my chest in the dark and I don’t imagine that my son does either.